How the Trump Stole Healthcare

Every Who down in Whoville liked Healthcare a lot

But the Trump who lived just North of Whoville did not!

The Trump hated Healthcare! The whole legislative season!

Now, please don't ask why. No one quite knows the reason.

It could be, perhaps, that his shoes were too tight.

It could be his head wasn't screwed on just right.

But I think that the most likely reason of all

May be that his hands were two sizes too small.

But, whatever the reason, his hands or his shoes,

He stood on this Christmas Eve, hating the Whos.

Staring down from his tower with a sour, Trumpy frown

At the warm-lighted windows below in their town,

For he knew every Who down in Whoville was conned,

Busy comparing health plans--gold, silver and bronze.

"And they're making their co-pays," he snarled with a sneer.

"The ACA won’t die 'cuz it works, plus it's already here!"

So he growled with his Trump fingers twiddling, but twerking,

"I must find some way to keep the ACA from working!

For, next year, I know all the Who women and men

When unwell, can afford medical healthcare yet again!"

And the more the Trump thought of this Who Healthcare bling,

The more the Trump thought, "I must stop this whole thing!

Why for seven years, eleven months, and eleven days now,

I've put up with Healthcare, I must stop it! But how?"

Then he got an idea! An awful idea!

The Trump got a wonderfully, awful idea!

"I know just what to do!" The Trump laughed in his throat.

"The individual mandate, I'll end! Insurance costs will bloat!"

And he chuckled, and clucked, "What a great Trumpy trick!

And when insurance costs go up, 'Thanks Obama!' How slick!"

"All I need is some legislation," The Trump looked around.

But Senators were scarce, there weren’t enough to be found.

Did that stop the Trump? “Hah!” The Trump simply said,

"If I can't find a healthcare bill, I'll do a tax bill instead!"

So he took the tax bill, had it writ in red ink.

Lower real estate taxes? Corker signed on with a wink!.

Then he loaded some deductions and old empty trickle-down sacks

On a ramshackle statute and plenty of spending cutbacks.

Then the Trump said "Giddyap!" and the statute started down

Toward the homes where the Whos lay a-snooze in their town.

"This is stop number one," the old Trumpy Claus hissed,

As he shook the individual mandate from his itty-bitty fist.

Next, the little Who children had healthcare, but can't pay,

(after all, they're only Who children, it's fair enough to say.)

"This CHIP thing's got no funding," Trump Trumped away.

"Too bad for Whoville, it ends today!"

Then he slithered and slunk, with a smile most unpleasant--

'Round the whole White House, after all, he was still president!

As Trump dismantled healthcare from below and above,

He heard a small sound like the coo of a dove.

He turned around fast, and he saw a small Who!

Little Cindy-Lou Who, who was no more than two.

She stared at the Trump and said, "Mr. President, why?

Why are you taking our Healthcare? Why?"

But, you know, that old Trump was so smart and so slick,

He thought up a lie, and he thought it up quick!

"Why, little tot," (the fake tan man lied all the time),

"America’s the Greatest. We have the BEST healthcare.”

(He's not only a liar, he really can't rhyme.)

So I'm taking it over to my Senators, my dear.

I'll fix it up there, then I'll bring it back here."

And his fib fooled the child. Then he patted her head,

And he got her a drink, and he sent her to bed.

And when Cindy-Lou Who was in bed with her cup,

He crupt to the Capital to muck healthcare up!

"Pooh-pooh to the Whos!" he was Trumpily humming.

"They're finding out now that no Healthcare is coming!

They're just waking up! I know just what they'll do!

Their mouths will hang open a minute or two,

Then the Whos down in Whoville will all cry 'boo-hoo!'

That's a noise," grinned the Trump, "that I simply must hear!"

He paused, and the Trump put a small hand to his ear.

And he did hear a sound rising over the snow.

It started in low, then it started to grow.

The financial disasters, the wails and the woe.

This sound wasn't glad!

Why, this sound sounded sad!

Now the only thing America's healthcare does best,

Is charge more for healthcare, while giving us less.

Even the tax cuts Trump delivered on a platter were no feast!

Sunset in seven years for those with the least.

While corporate cuts are primed for continued cheer,

With no expiration date, year after year.

Merry Christmas.